March

Finally handed in the last double weighted dissertation last week which I think I had 20,000+ words in total. A huge relief now I'm over and done with it, praying now that I'll do well for it! *fingers crossed* Time's passing way too quickly and it's March already?! I can still recall the day I landed over here in UK which is exactly 6 months ago. 6 months more and I'll be on that plane home, it'll be quicker than you think!

I'm sure I'll be leaving with a heavy heart as life over here has been a wonderful one. The freedom, a different environment, new friends, different culture, weather and places to visit, I wouldn't mind staying here for a wee bit longer. The thought of heading back to Malaysia really scares me with the current issues of the Lahad Datu war, snatch thefts, rape cases and political cases. Not to mention how things are so efficiently done here compared back home. You report a faulty switch and they'd get it done for you the next day!

Just sippin on some green tea right now with sun shining in on my daffodils by the window even though it's -1 outside, I really appreciate this moment now. I'm sure if I were to be back home, I would be toasted and blasting the air conditioner at its maximum capacity while taking a nap right now.

'The grass is always greener on the other side' really lives up to its name but nowhere is better than home! A little update over my past week: Caught Safe Haven right after handing up my dissertation which was mediocre in my opinion. Typical Nicholas Sparks' movie though The Vow beats it hands down. Whey Jinn's 22nd celebration at Cosmo at night with the coursemates followed by drinking session over at my place which ended up on a nauseous note for me.

Resumed eating clean after having so much junk especially since CNY. From a cheat day to cheat week to cheat month! Ughhh. Time to jump on the healthy bandwagon again. Abs come to mama!

Scrambled eggs X Strawberries X Cucumber X Green apple

Anchovy broth with chicken, mushroom and cabbage

Babybel with smoked salmon on rice cake

Grapefruit X Green tea

Cheat day lunch with the Bar students after their exam at Tikka Masala.

Sunday coffee after groceries

Baked banana cake which didn't really rise...

New found favourite!

New favourite gold collar tip haul

Attempting to do a wall mountain climbers.

Crazy weather yesterday of snow and strong wind made me turn into an eskimo

My very first blue T box which remains a mystery till I head back to Malaysia!

On a side note, after almost 3 months, I finally gave him an answer. Heh. Don't want to disclose much but all I can say is I thought that he was attractive when we had dinner with the rest on the second day I arrived in UK while we were both still attached at that time. Somehow it turned out to be a little crush. :P :P And we wouldn't have today if I never initiated a conversation which resulted us in discovering our similarities. 

To a new beginning, Xx

"Forever doesn't exist"

You once said forever doesn't exist, but you'd be there for my ups and downs. Distance wasn't a problem for you, you said that it all depends on whether the relationship is worth going on and people who're in LDR's manage to stay together because they have the heart to maintain it.

Guess they were all lies.

What breaks my heart the most is that everything was going fine and you said that you might be coming over, that 5am morning call before the split. Can't believe you can put up such a fake front when I've perceived you to be the gentlest guy I've ever met. I shouldn't have been so naive and held my expectations so high. And that I'm not worth a phone/skype call to be given an explanation as my last request. How could you be so heartless?

Sending you postcards whenever I visited pretty places, taking pictures while wishing you were next to me; I really was a fool. Till now I still I can't swallow it down that the man I loved, full of chivalry, is the same person that's so cruel to me after my tears and pleads.

Thought you were an angel sent down from heaven but I guess you're the same as those jerks. And thanks for being the first person for proving your quote right.

You would never know how I was feeling, pretending that nothing was wrong and trying to win you back again. But I guess nothing could change your mind.

"Just a week ago you were my baby , now I don't even know you at all"

Goodbye.

Together, alone

Don't know where you are, what you've been up to and why we're drifting apart. I've tried my best but are you putting in effort? Sometimes I imagine you being here and all the things we could do together.


Refrained myself every time from messaging you to avoid being clingy and psycho but all I wanna know is what you're up to and whether you've taken your meals, when back then I was the one who always accompany you for dinner and every movie screening. And wondering how's your weekend like without me going cycling, picnics, and shopping with you.

Tired of crying and tears no longer stream down anymore. Wish you were here to assure me that everything's okay and embrace me in your arms, telling me jokes to cheer me up.

Miss how you'd hold my hand and give it a peck just to show me how much you treasure me and spinning me round like a fairy. No one has done those to me before.

I miss you like crazy, I really do.

想見不能見最痛

Distance

Being away from each other is so hard, all the more when you're putting in more effort but the other party isn't so. Sometimes I wonder whether is it really worth it?

Say I love you and you're not listening

2nd monthsary

A song which I wish I'd discovered first before I left:

Time flies, it's been 2 months since we got together. But this time, I'm not physically there to celebrate with him. ): The next time we're gonna see each other's probably 10 months later. Ever since I came here to UK, it hasn't been easy. Dealing with different time zones and adjusting to each other's free time just to communicate is no easy job.

There are times where he'd be so busy till wee hours of the night that we have to miss skyping with each other when he falls asleep while I'm patiently waiting on the other end. >=( Whatsapp-ing is no easy job too since he would be busy at work. They say communication is the vital key to maintaining a relationship, with so little communication between us nowadays, I just have to have faith and patiently wait till the peak period of his is over.

No relationship is perfect and we do quarrel sometimes, maybe when he's being inconsiderate about my feelings or I was being absurd. But for me, all that nonsensical behaviour of mine is because I treasure him and I do whatever I can to keep this relationship going on.

Thank God we're not the only ones having a long distance relationship. So I'd confide in my other friends when I'm feeling down due to the absence of each other. I used to have qualms about long distance relationships and I never believed in them. Who knew that I'd actually be in one today?

Out of the other 2 parties having LDR, it's always us girls putting in more effort just to communicate, as of what I heard, eg: initiating to Skype and whatsapp. You guys have to play your part in maintaining a LDR too! Maybe we're just a wee bit more sensitive and tear easily, that's cause we're afraid of losing you guys okay! So be more sensitive and take a little more initiative to make us girls happy please.

"Here I am waiting, I'll have to leave soon 
Why am I, holding on?"

"We knew this day would come, we knew it all along 
How did it, come so fast?"

"This is our last night but it's late and I'm trying not to sleep 
Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away"

"And when the daylight comes I'll have to go 
But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close "

I miss you bringing me to pretty places :(

Who knew that..

the moon's the only constant thing that we'd see every night?

Miss you so much ):

Our last proper picture together before UK, every time I look at this picture, I can't help but to shed a tear :'(

And the last embrace.

If others can maintain a 3 year LDR relationship, why can't we do it for 10 months? You once said that we had to communicate if there's any problems, and we will. :)

Happy 2nd monthsary baby!

 "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

Days with love

Missing love so much right now when he's fast asleep. After a day of long work he finally slept at 5+ and even skyped with me before bed though he has to wake up at 8 for work. :') Been shopping these few days and whenever I come to an escalator, I always think of him because I always hesitate and he's not here to hold me onto it anymore.

And we used to catch every single movie out in the theatres without fail but now I don't even go to the movies here. Stars here are so prominent at night and there's so many beautiful places in UK and sometimes I really wish he's here to enjoy all these little things with me. Whenever we're at some pretty place back in KL, he'd always give me a twirl around like a fairy. :B

My last week in KL with him:

Half Korean? :P

Miss this soy bean paste soup!

One of those mornings

I miss this from Jojo :(

Fatty perut bulging out after so many dessert sessions :P

#nowplaying - Maroon 5, Payphone

1st monthsary

It's been such a long time that I actually celebrated a monthsary together with someone. First monthsary with Keven, exactly a week before I flew here to UK. Went back to KL on the same day from JB and just in time to have dinner with him. Made a card and a CD filled with my favourite soundtracks for him and he brought me to Porto Romano for dinner.

Dress from Zara donned with my favourite charm bracelet from Thomas Sabo

My love

Cheese platter that we didn't really enjoy :X

My lamb shank

His chicken breast

We've same taste for food and I actually wanted to order this chicken breast but I let him order it though he persuaded me to order it while he ordered something else. But knowing he loves chicken breast and don't fancy other meat much, I gave in to him. :)

Being suckers fore dessert, how can we not cleanse our palate with something sweet? Forgot what this was called but it was some frozen ice cream-like dessert with espresso drizzles. Yummyyyyy :B

Missing this silly jealous guy :(

Tonight I've been thinking a lot, sometimes I speak my mind without considering his feelings but he has never raised his voice at me before. I can be real petty just so he can coax me but I am never good at coaxing cause of my ego. Being 9000 or 6000+ miles away from him ain't easy and I don't know when's the next time I would see him.

Skype and whatsapp's our only communication portal and we've to deal with time differences. Been skyping with him while walking or when in the bus, while grocery shopping, in the midst of cooking, just so that I can hear his voice. Compromising to his busy schedule cause he has to work and I know once I don't put in effort to maintain communication, this thing between us will die. He actually woke up at 6am when it was around 11pm at my side just to check on me when I went drinking so that I'm sober and not cheating on him lololol.

 On cold weathers like these, I wish you were here to keep me warm cause the heater's not warm enough for me. And the minute I step out of buildings, I'd be shivering. 

Sometimes just looking at each other on that tiny screen brings tears to my eyes. Or the thought of him having to eat dinner alone or an unplanned weekend breaks my heart. Praying hard that we'll make this through and that he'll come visit me soon.

I know I haven't done much for you, especially cooking a proper meal for you. Pains me to have you bring that up and I can't fulfill your request right now. 

Give me time, I'm trying to be the best you ever have.