Despised

It's probably the time of the month again and I'm feeling depressed like a kid who dropped his favourite Ben&Jerry's cone on the playground. To make matters worse, stomach's being a bitch and gastric's attacking me at this hour. Trynna complete tutorial work for tomorrow's class so I don't have to struggle but I can't stand it any longer. Hostel's connection is real shitty, eyelids are drooping, trynna post this before I collapse on bed.

Every single thing is getting on my nerves right now. Even not being able to solve questions for Management Accounting puts me off. Feeling like the dumbest girl on Earth, and I definitely don't wanna be the free rider in the group. I hate being despised and pitied.

Yes, I may appear to be melodramatic all the time, but that shows I have feelings and that I really treat every relationship whole heartedly. I try to play along, but in the end I got played. Every rejection I take in stride and I don't make up stories to cover up so that my ego would be held high. No, I'm not like that. It's your loss if you give me up. I'm sure God has greater plans for me, like focusing to be a career woman or something.

For now, I need to set my priorities right. Get that first class honor's degree and do my parents proud. Yes, I may be playful at times, enjoying most of my time, but hey I know how to juggle my time. Party hard, but study hard. I know some of you are judging me, but if you're not gonna enjoy now, then when? When you're 30? I know how to draw the line, mom and dad. I may not be the best but I definitely won't let you down.

Missing home a lot right now, wish I was 350km back from where I am now. And I don't even know what I just blabbered about, and what's the aim of this post. Ranting, perhaps. Goodnight.